Standing Without Apology

It's 7:20 am. I've just slipped into a skirt that's 2 sizes too big for me so that it will sag lower on my hips and reach the bottom of my kneecaps. I pull on a pair of pantyhose, grab my coffee and race out the door. 20 minutes later I reach the front gates of campus, where I turn down my rock music to a barely audible level so nobody will hear the drum beats from the sidewalk. I park my car, grab my violin and my school bag and practically run to class, tugging my skirt down to my knees the entire way to avoid being shamed and given demerits for a dress code violation. This is the start to my day as a student at Bob Jones University, and the way I lived my life for 23 years.

I'm writing this post in response to an Instagram post I made recently regarding my stand on Target's new "genderless restroom" policy. I am uncomfortable with the fact that legally, a man can walk into a women's restroom. I am not going to subject myself to the possibility of being raped or spied on. Although I do not condone homosexuality, gender confusion, or transgenders, the purpose of my post was NOT to attack any of these groups. I also do not think that it is really that likely that I will  be raped in a Target restroom. The principle of the matter is what bothers me. Also, to clarify, I am not worried that a homosexual, transgender or gender confused person will try to attack me, rape me, or make me uncomfortable in a restroom. I am concerned that perverted straight males in America will take advantage of the situation.

When I finished my master's degree at Bob Jones University, I felt something I'd never felt before: freedom. Freedom to wear what I wanted, listen to what I wanted, to drink alcohol...the list goes on. I spent the next several years of my life exploring my personal style, personal tastes in music, and in general just figuring out who I was as a person.

Social media has played a huge role in my life the last few years- I've found a vintage community of girls out there who like me feel like they were born in the wrong era. I've been able to use Instagram to connect with these girls and to promote my etsy shop. However I've slowly felt social media take control
over me. I am afraid to post my views because people might not like me or they might unfollow me. I'll admit, I've gotten sucked into the mentality that social media approval matters. I love that feeling of getting "likes" on photos and feeling accepted. But you know what else I feel? The same paralyzing fear I did when I was a student at Bob Jones. Hiding my views to avoid conflict, feeling trapped by people's opinions. I don't want to feel that way ever again. I couldn't go to the movies in highschool. I couldn't wear pants to Walmart. I didn't have my first drink until I was 23. But despite my differences with BJU I agree with them in many areas and one of those areas is standing without apology for what you believe. So this is what I believe. Homosexuality is wrong. The Bible clearly condemns it. You know what else it condemns? Pride and anger, both of which I'm guilty on a daily basis. I don't think I'm better than homosexuals, transgenders or gender confused people. I don't hate them. I just don't support their lifestyle.

Will I lose Instagram followers because of this post? Probably. My etsy sales may suffer. But I'm OK with that because I'm standing without apology for what I believe. And that is a liberating feeling.